The Present Body

About

Hello, I’m Gem

I used to live in my head.

The Present Body is where I document learning how to come back into my body — and help you do the same.

New here? Start with this post →

To explain why I created The Present Body, I need to briefly step into the past — something I rarely do now unless it serves a purpose.

From a young age, anxiety was part of my life.
Over time, it deepened into depression.

My late teens and early twenties were a wild whirlwind of alcohol, rebellion, guilt, and quiet loneliness. On the surface I functioned. Inside, I felt lost.

I read countless self-help books.
I searched for answers everywhere.
Nothing filled the emptiness.

What I didn’t realise then was simple:

My mind was never here.

It lived in regret.
Or it lived in fear.
Almost never in the present.

I wasn’t broken.
I was trapped in mental time.

The Shift

There wasn’t a dramatic breakthrough.

There was a gradual waking up.

I began to see that the harsh voice in my head wasn’t “me” — it was fear. Fear of judgement. Fear of failure. Fear of not being enough.

There were times I would freeze completely — paralysed by overthinking — and numb myself with television just to escape the noise.

What changed wasn’t that the thoughts stopped.

What changed was that I stopped chasing them.

I started returning to the present moment instead.

That changed everything.

Movement Became the Doorway

I struggled with body image.
With emotional eating.
With feeling stuck for years.

The turning point began with something simple: movement.

Not punishment.
Not aesthetics.
Not forcing myself into the gym.

Just moving — and feeling it.

When I began to move my body with awareness — noticing breath, tension, effort — my mind quietened.

Exercise stopped being about how I looked.
It became about how I felt.

It helped me:

  • Interrupt overthinking
  • Regulate my nervous system
  • Feel grounded
  • Take action

I’m now a qualified personal trainer, but more importantly:

Movement became my way back to the present.

Sometimes that looks like training.
Sometimes it looks like slowing down.

Both bring you back.

What I’ve Learned

The past exists in memory.
The future exists in imagination.
Life exists now.

Fear lives in imagined futures.
Regret lives in remembered moments.

When we live there, we suffer.

When we return here, we regain power.

I still get pulled away sometimes.
The difference is, I notice sooner.

And I come back.

Again and again.

That’s the practice.

Why This Exists

I know how it feels to be quietly anxious.
To feel stuck.
To sense there must be more to life than this.

The Present Body is for anyone exhausted from searching for answers outside themselves.

Because what I’ve learned is this:

The answers aren’t out there.
They aren’t in becoming someone else.

They’re found by returning to the only moment that actually exists.

Now.

A Final Word

If I can change my relationship with my own mind, anyone can.

You don’t need to fix yourself.
You need to return.

Take your time here.

If something resonates, pause with it.

I’m here.

And you’re not alone.

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