There’s a strange kind of exhaustion that doesn’t come from doing too much — it comes from doing the wrong things for too long.
It could feel like you’re in the wrong job, in an unfulfilling relationship or even giving the time of day to negative, unhelpful thoughts.
Personally, my ego tells me I should be in a stable job – that’s the comfort zone, however, deep down, I yearn to do more than work for someone else and be dictated by when I can spend time with my family – I envision my life as a SUCCESSFUL self-employed person – yet, sometimes my ego gets a hold of me and repeatedly tells me, “That’ll never happen… you’re not good enough”, so, back to the job search it is.
On paper, your life might look “fine.” You’re functioning. You’re ticking boxes. You’re doing what you’re supposed to do.
And yet… something feels off.
If you’ve been carrying a quiet restlessness, a low-level anxiety, or a persistent thought that there has to be more than this — you’re not alone.
Here are five signs you might be living a life that isn’t truly yours — and why the way forward starts with grounding yourself in the present moment.
1. You Feel Lost — Even When Everything Looks “Okay”
You wake up and go through the motions. Work/Job hunting. Responsibilities. Social commitments. Sleep. Repeat.
But internally? You feel disconnected.
You struggle to answer simple questions like:
- What do I actually want?
- What makes me feel alive?
- If no one was watching, what would I choose?
Feeling lost isn’t about lacking direction. It’s about losing connection — to yourself.
Often, this happens when you’ve followed expectations instead of intuition for too long – for me, I feel I let my loved ones down if I don’t have a stable job/income, but, in reality, they’re never let down because of that and they just want me to be happy. However, I’m not happy due to internal conflicts of what I want to do Vs. what I think people expect of me – letting go of trying to please others (even if it’s something you’ve made up in your own head since they don’t have these pressurising expectations of you anyway) makes way for you to really think about how you want to truly live your life – hence me starting this blog – I’ve wanted to write a blog for many years now, and I fail due to my ego telling me “no one will read your stupid blog anyway, why would they listen to you?”… Enough’s enough.
2. You Feel Anxious for No Clear Reason
Anxiety isn’t always about immediate danger. Sometimes it’s a signal from your inner self saying, this doesn’t feel right.
You might experience:
- Sunday-night dread every week
- A constant background hum of stress
- Irritability that surprises you
- Difficulty relaxing, even when you have time
When you’re living out of alignment with who you are, your nervous system knows. It senses that something isn’t authentic.
And that misalignment creates tension.
Imagine how you’d love to live your life – what would it look like? What would you want to experience? What’s stopping you?
If you’re truly fed up with your life right now, you’ll take any sort of action to change it; no matter how big or small.
I hear you, it’s not always as easy as that when anxiety makes you freeze – I know, it happens to me on a daily basis. But you know what? I keep practising returning to this present moment right here – not the past or the future – right here, right now.
Give this practice a try to ground yourself and return back to the present, and then ask yourself, “What action can I take right now towards living the life I deserve to live”.
3. You Keep Thinking, “There Has to Be More Than This”
This thought may pop up during quiet moments — on your commute, before bed, or while scrolling through someone else’s life online.
It’s not about comparison. It’s about yearning.
A sense that:
- You’re capable of more
- You’re meant for more
- You’re settling
That whisper isn’t greed or dissatisfaction.
It’s awareness.
It’s your deeper self nudging you toward expansion.
I get this feeling every single day, “There must be more to life than this?”.
Depressing, I know, however I’m learning that first I must be grateful for what I already have, then, I can move forwards filled with positivity and hope, instead of acting on disappointment and regret.
The Universe feels our energy; the more we put in the effort to become positive, the more positivity we attract.
It isn’t wrong to feel this way by the way, it’s completely normal for millions of people; plus, this isn’t about wanting material things or being greedy, it’s about that sense of knowing you can do more than settle for this current life you’re living – and there’s nothing wrong with that if we use it as motivation towards change.
What is wrong though is when it causes suffering.
Suffering due to feeling a lack of something or desperately wishing your life was different right now.
We’re trying to move away from this type of toxic suffering as it serves you no purpose whatsoever – it just fuels the anxiety.
Instead of tuning into the suffering, try to tap into the motivation behind change.
Accept that it’s going to take time to change your life – it cannot happen overnight.
Create an action plan.
And enjoy the process itself.
We get lost in wanting to have the best life right now and therefore feel down when it hasn’t arrived yet.
A healthier way of looking at it is;
Accepting your current life situation,
Knowing you can take steps towards changing it,
Accepting it’s not going to be a smooth process and that there may be difficulties along the way,
When you feel anxious due to thoughts wandering into the future or back to the past – STOP and ground yourself in the present moment; remind yourself why you’re taking this action and believe that you’ll make it in the end.
This way, you’ll be taking the right sort of action towards your goals, instead of acting due to fear or suffering.
4. You’re Always Busy — But Rarely Fulfilled
Being busy can feel productive. It can also be a distraction.
If you’re constantly filling your schedule, it may be because slowing down feels uncomfortable.
When you pause, you’re forced to face questions like:
- Am I happy?
- Is this meaningful?
- Is this who I want to be?
Many people avoid these questions by staying busy.
Being constantly busy is viewed as a “good thing”; how many times have you been sat resting alone when someone comes down the stairs and you suddenly jump up and start doing something just to look busy?
Yep, we’ve all done it.
Who cares if you need to hit pause? If you rarely slow down, I invite you to do so in order to answer the above questions.
Fulfilment doesn’t come from motion. It comes from alignment.
5. Deep Down, You Know Something Needs to Change — But You Don’t Know How
This is the hardest part.
You sense misalignment.
You feel restless.
You crave something different.
But you don’t know where to start.
And that uncertainty keeps you stuck.
Here’s the truth: you don’t need a five-year plan right now.
You need presence.
By learning how to return to the present moment instead of allowing our thoughts to keep playing on autopilot (inevitably making us feel more anxious) we begin to regulate our nervous system.
Once our nervous system begins to feel calm, we can think with a clearer head. Some days were terrible for me; it would feel like there were so many different ideas and voices all whizzing around in my head, I couldn’t understand any of it and it just became like the noise of a crowd.
This was a sign that something needed to change, and change began by stopping everything and hitting the reset button.
I’m not saying that learning to become more present will immediately change your life – it won’t.
To begin with you’ll be thinking, “yes, that 2 minute grounding exercise was nice at the time, however I’ve returned to how I was feeling before now that’s over”.
That was me too.
I didn’t see the point in meditation or grounding myself because, well, we can’t just constantly meditate all day to feel relaxed and calm.
However, I was missing one fundamental point; by teaching the mind to relax, gently discard thoughts and really feel this present moment, even for a couple of minutes a day, that then begins to teach your brain that you don’t have to listen to negative thoughts any more, you don’t have to live in the past or predict your future.
You can function much better with a clearer mind when you’re fully present in this moment.
The Way Forward: It Starts With Grounding Yourself
When you feel lost, anxious, or disconnected, your mind tends to jump into the future:
- “What if I make the wrong move?”
- “What if I fail?”
- “What if it’s too late?”
But transformation doesn’t happen in the future.
It only ever happens in the present moment.
This is the only place you can:
- Make a decision
- Take one small action
- Listen to your intuition
- Interrupt an old pattern
When you ground yourself — through your breath, your senses, your body — you calm your nervous system. And when your nervous system is calm, clarity follows.
You begin to hear yourself again.
You notice what feels heavy.
You notice what feels energising.
You start recognising what is yours — and what never was.
How to Begin (Without Overwhelming Yourself)
You don’t need to reinvent your life overnight.
Start small.
- Sit in silence for five minutes and ask, What do I need right now?
- Take a walk without being on your phone.
- Notice how your body feels during your daily routine.
- Practice one moment of full presence each day.
Awareness creates space.
Space creates choice.
Choice creates change.
Final Thoughts
If you recognise yourself in these signs, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed.
It means you’re waking up.
Feeling lost, anxious, or aware that there’s more to life isn’t a flaw — it’s a signal.
And the first step toward building a life that truly feels like yours isn’t a dramatic leap.
It’s grounding yourself in the present moment.
Because this moment — right here — is the only place your real life can begin.
